Jokes & Riddles for Kids
Have a laugh at
the corny jokes below!
Q: What do you
call a one eyed dinosaur?
A: Do you think he saw us?
do you catch a squirrel?
a tree and act nuts.
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
A: It’s time to get a new fence.
do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
Q: Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs.
is a crocodile’s
Q: What kind of dog has no tail?
A: A hot dog.
do you get if you cross a dog and a telephone?
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
kind of animal goes OOM?
cow walking backwards.
do birds fly south?
A: Because it is too far to walk.
Q: Why do
seagulls fly over the sea?
if they flew over the bay they would be called a bagel.
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A Puffin
is a bird after he is four days old?
A: He is
five days old.
does a baby pig eat so much?
A: To make a hog of himself.
did the pig say when a man got him by the tail?
is the end of me.
Q: Who always
goes to bed with his shoes on?
A: A horse.
Q: What did the lion say when
he saw two hunters in a jeep?
A: Ah, meals on wheels.
do snakes do after they have a fight?
and make up.
Q: What is black and white, black and white,
black and white, black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.
Q: What do you call an Irish spider?
A: Paddy long leg.
was the insect thrown out of the forest?
he was a litter bug.
Q: When does Dracula eat turkey?
A: At Fangsgiving.
Q: Why couldn’t
Pilgrims tell secrets on their land?
the corn had ears.
Q: What was the Pilgrims’ favourite music?
A: Plymouth rock.
Q: Why did
the cranberries turn so red?
they saw the salad dressing.
Q: What did the turkey say when the Pilgrim grabbed him by its
A: That’s the end of me.
did the turkey say before it was put into the oven?
A: I am
Q: What is the best way to eat
turkey on Thanksgiving?
A: Gobble it.
Q: Why did the boy take toilet
paper to the party?
A: Because he was a Party Pooper.
Q: Why did they put a fence
around the grave yard?
A: Because everybody was dieing to get in!
Q: Why did the twin witches wear name tags?
A: So they could tell which
witch was which.
do you make a witch scratch?
away the W.
a witch wear a flat hat?
there was no point in it.
Q: What is a ghost's favorite dessert?
A: Boo-berry pie with ice scream!!
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: Watch the board and I’ll go through
did the ghost starch her sheet?
she could care everyone stiff.
Q: What kind of pets do ghost
A: Scaredy cats.
Q: What do ghosts
have for dessert?
A: Ice Scream.
Q: Why did the one-eyed monster close his school?
A: Because he only had one pupil.
Q: What is a mummy’s favourite type of music?
mummies go on vacations?
are afraid they will relax and unwind.
Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They are too wrapped up in themselves.
Q: Why can’t skeletons play music in church?
A: Because they have no organs.
Q: Who won the
skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.
Q:What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Q: Why didn’t
the skeleton cross the road?
have the guts.
Q:Why didn't the skeleton parachute
out of the plane?
A:Because he didn't have the
Q: How does a girl bat flirt?
A: She bats her eyes.
type of dog do vampires like best?
Q: How does a vampire brush his teeth??
A: Two fangs at a time.
Q: What do you call a person
who has carrots in their ears?
A: Anything you
want, they cannot hear you.
Q: What cakes gives you
an electric shock?
A: A Current Bun.
bad tempered and goes with custard?
Rice Krispies Jokes
Q: What happens to babies when they eat rice krispies?
A: They go snap, crackle, pooh.
Q: What flies and wobbles?
A: A jelly copter.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it is a French Fry!
Q: What do you get if you cross
old potatoes with lumpy mince meat?
A: School dinners!
Q: I have two noses, three
eyes and only one ear. What am I?
A: Very ugly!
Q: Spell Mississippi with
A: Place one hand over
a closed eye and spell out Mississippi .
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A newspaper.
Q: Why did the beach blush?
A: Because the sea weed!
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
do snowmen go to dance?
A: A snowball.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
do you sing at a snowman’s
a jolly good fellow.
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.
Q: Why don’t
mountains get cold in the winter?
they wear snow caps.
Q: How do you stop a summer cold?
A: Catch it in the winter!
of the Week Jokes
Child: I'm thirsty!
Adult: Hi, I'm Friday, come back on Saturday
and we'll have a Sunday.
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven (eat) nine.
Knock Knock Jokes
Q: Have you known me for a second?
Q: Have you known me for
Q: Have you
known me for an hour?
you known me for a day?
you known me for a month?
You should know because you’ve
known me for a year!
you glad I didn’t
Lettuce in and we’ll tell you.
you a happy St. Patrick’s
Egburt no bacon!
Have you heard of the book 'Tragic
Events on a Cliff' by Eileen Over? (I lean over)?
Have you heard of the book 'Puddles
in my Bed' by I. P. Knightly? ( I pee nightly)?
Q: A cowboy rides into town
on Friday and stays in town for three days and leaves on Friday. How
does he do it?
A: His horses' name is Friday
Put on Your Thinking Cap:
Q. What gets bigger the more
you take away from it?
A. A hole.